Michigan Winter overture

It is a very cool night and I know that I myself have been complaining a bit about the heat... and while it is very nearly Summer, a nice little Spring chill is a beautiful thing. It lets you remember the cold of Winter (Without the brutal freezing cold) and you can rejoice one more time (Before the endless heat hits) in some of the things that make Winter in Michigan so special... like taking a warm shower and putting on some comfy socks... or having a warm cup of coffee... or snuggling up in a blanket on the sofa with a movie and popcorn... and take a few moments to relive the past 6 months that have just seemed to fly right by... yeah, it was pretty nice! Nothing left to do now but crack the window, feel the cool air, listen to the slow rain and relax.

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Off the wagon!!!

It hit me today how chaotic and stressful the last few days have been as my wife and I are rushing the kids through a fast after dinner walk and my daughter asks if we can stop and look at the flowers... and we say nope we have to hurry because we need to be back home soon... and then she stops in protest and asks, "Why can't we just stop and smell the flowers" (Which just happened to be roses I might add). She was right of course, we hadn't really taken the time to do that over the last few days. Everything has been kind of a blur... and the heat didn't help, it just kind of defeated me before I could get going. I even read through the past few things I have written and noticed a decline in the "Happiness" theme of which this blog is dedicated (Sorry for that). Although things were a little less then happy, I could sense that there were things heavy on my mind that I had to air out. And I think that, while not the most happy, cleansing the mind of the things that are weighing heavy on you is sometimes the only pathway to positive, happy thinking and reflection. So now that all that is behind me for the moment I will stop and smell the flowers, but probably not until I can get a good nights rest ;-) So good night!!! And don't forget to stop and smell the flowers once and awhile!

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May 27: Organic Human Machines...

Sometimes going to sleep feels so good... but then at the same time it's the last thing you really want to do. This is where I am at and I still haven't decided which direction I would like to go... but either way I'm sure I will not want to get up in the morning... mostly because it is always too early! "You can sleep when you're dead", they say... but you can't function if you don't sleep. Ying and yang... I swear that the clock was the worst invention ever. Who really needs "Time" on their back nagging them constantly. Months become days, days become hours, hours become minutes and seconds barely ever exist. It seems so unnatural the way we function from day to day. I like to joke about it, but sometimes I really do think we're becoming organic human machines. Schedule... commit... perform... repeat and repeat again! I wonder what life would be like if we all just let it flow. If your life was just one big ocean and each day was a ripple in the water, that starts out small and builds like a wave and becomes... naturally, until it runs its course leaving each day complete instead of fragmented. Then the next day would just begin when it happens and worries come and leave like grains of sand shifting with the crashing waves. Man, I'm really dishing out some major horse-sh*t... guess it's time for bed ;-)

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May 26: With friends

It's always nice to have "adult" conversations, (And I'm not talking about anything dirty, although stuff like that comes up sometimes), It's just refreshing to not be in "parent mode" or speaking on a kindergarten level. For those who are not familiar with "parent mode"... have a kid! It's really not that bad, really!... but watching your every move and the moves of your children, can be exhausting. So every now and again my wife and I (For our own mental health) have the pleasure of hosting other adults at our home... and get to feel like our normal selves for a little while. And instead of having internal conversations with our subconscious selves, we get to air it out! While I'm not overly concerned with my children being privy to these conversations... It takes too much effort to stop and explain things in-depth, every couple of sentences, so that a 4 year old can grasp what you're kind of talking about... but you're not sure they really do... and they're probably not sure they do... and what were you talking about anyways? I want them to be respectable human beings and treat other people with kindness and not just blurt out things that they heard in a casual conversation that, when taken out of context, could really offend someone. So the majority of the time we are on our best behavior.

All that aside, our kids love our friends and we love having our friends around... and it never happens enough anymore... but at least I can brag about having really great friends, that care about me and my family. And we get to all play music or have deep conversations... share a fantastic meal (Thanks Wunderbar!) and everyone has a good time and hopes that it will happen again really soon. That's how I like to end my weekend... with friends!

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May 25: Inspiration!

It's been awhile... I just haven't felt like doing it... I've had plenty of opportunity... even a week vacation,  but a couple days ago I started hearing the music in my head again. I started hearing some words and some melodies... and I had to dust off the guitar. Wiped off about a month of dust and wrote a new song... and also played through a few old ones. Don't know why I lost it, but for the time being it's back. It feels really good to play music... I really can't imagine my life without out it. It is such a wonderful gift that I am so lucky to have in my life... now back to the Rock!

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http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mark-Derrick-Music/122779151122276?sk=app_2405167945

What the "F"

"F"riday, "F"ries, "F"rosties and "F"IKEA... Yeah, we know how to do it up ;-)

May 24: I am a cheater!

Today I was a cheater... the person who passes everyone in a row of cars and cuts ahead (What did you think I was talking about?). I didn't mean too, I couldn't get over into the lane I needed and no one would let me in... so I just had to keep driving and cut around. Usually I am the person waiting, who just wants to get the inevitable over with and lets the cheaters cut in front of me. But I was tired and worn out and I just made a poor judgment... and cheated at least 30 people in cars trying to do the same thing as me, most likely, and get home. Don't get me wrong, it was really nice not having to wait an extra 15 min. at that 4-way stop... like I have so many times before, but I did feel bad. So in a way I think I deserved a cheat... because I will wait next time and I will let that cheater in front of me, and be a little more understanding... hoping that they didn't mean to or didn't have a choice and if they were doing it because they really don't care about you or anyone else, I'm going to just let it go... and pay it forward... in case I cheat again ;-)

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May 23: Taking the day off...

Today I went to work (Just like I usually do) and put in a solid day of hard labor. Then I came home to take over for our baby-sitter and got dinner ready for me and the kids. My wife was still at work, which is normal  for a Wednesday, so it is up to me to prepare dinner. It's not out of the ordinary or a big deal, we're a good team... that's how it works! When my wife got home we both put the kids to bed and here I am. Nothing special. While I was at work my daughter had her last day of preschool. It was a big party, that my wife and son were also able to attend. They all had fun and it sounds like it was a special day for all involved. Then the kids got to play outside with the babysitter and the neighbors, and that was also a lot of fun... from what I was told. Everyone had a good day and I did what I had to do. Tonight my wife needs to get some more work done at home and said she would like some personal time to write a little. I totally understand. I didn't have to do anything special today, just needed to do the normal things to get by... so if I'm not needed, I think I'll just turn on a movie, relax and enjoy this day off from any craziness... and maybe fold some clothes for the team.

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May 22: ¡Día de los amigos!

Today I was missing my friends. I don't have (Or make) the time to talk to them as often as I would like, let alone see them. So "out of the blue", at some point today, I decided to send random text messages to my friends, to let them now that I still appreciate them and that I was thinking of them. It felt nice to do and I thought it would be a nice practice... what if there was a day dedicated to appreciating your friends? That got me to thinking about  holidays and hanging out. And then I thought to myself... I know that holidays are a time to get together and celebrate with your family and friends, but it's to celebrate other things... what about celebrating friendships? I don't know why Hallmark didn't start that one. Most people only have one sweetie, (I mean how many sweeties can you really have? Never mind, I really don't want to know!) but think how many friends they have... that's a ton of cards. If I was making a holiday for profit, it would be "Friend Day".

But if we're going to make a holiday, let's do it right! First, in America we like to steal holidays that are supposed to be for other cultures and adopt them into our own... so it should have an ethnic name for flare... I know some Spanish, so let's make it something Spanish. How about ¡Día de los amigos! day ("Day for the friends")... kind of catchy, "Happy de los amigos", let's go with that. It should also carry a tradition of a signature drink. St. Patty's has green beer, Christmas has eggnog and Cinco de mayo has margaritas... maybe we should be a friend and just make it cheap beer! Then it's always so hard to get everyone together, so I don't think anyone should have to work on this holiday. But we know that will never happen, so maybe we make it a two day celebration... Friday and Saturday (Because how can you party on Sunday night? And you cross to much other traffic on Sundays). Now when would be a good time? There are so many more things to do in the summer, and I know that I hibernate when it's cold, so it should be a summer month. I just checked the holiday calendar... and August is wide open! Sounds good to me. Labor day is the first week of September... so... let's make it 2nd weekend in August. Alright, here it is so far... August 10th and 11th we celebrate "de los amigos" day. We get together with friends and drink cheap beer! (Wait, this is starting to sound like a normal summer weekend...).

What else can we do? Let's improve on some other holiday traditions. If we're going to send cards or emails and stuff, they should all be belated cards so we can't be upset when someone forgets... takes some of the pressure off... (Who wants to stress out their friends anyways?) Giving gifts can be nerve racking, but if you want to do that... let's say that we exchange gift cards. And not only that but we put them in a big dish and play competitive games... like beer pong or Texas hold em' to see who gets to grab the first gift card out of the "de los amigos" jar! If you don't bring a card to exchange, you don't get one... who cares, it can be that easy! We can greet each other with profanities, like real friends always do... like, "Hey Asshole! Happy de los amigos!". The rule of thumb for food should be, if it can't be microwaved or cooked in 30 min. it shouldn't be served! But at the end of the day(s) it should be about friends... spending time with them... letting them know you appreciate them... and just having a good time! Miss all you guys!

Happy belated ¡Día de los amigos!

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May 21: Oh no!!! It's the end of the world!!!

End of the world? No, not really... Had a pretty long 11 hour day at work though, yeah so what. Feeling really sore... that sucks, but still had some fun when I got home ;-). Ordered pizza and can't really afford to, probably shouldn't have... oh well! Set up a family picnic for the kids in front of the TV and watched a movie, probably shouldn't have... makes a mess, but it cleans up well enough. Let the kids stay up way too late watching said movie (It was "Cars"), most likely will throw them off a bit... we'll all get through it. Should of been a big train wreck today, but it wasn't. The kids were running around being silly, we were all laughing and smiling and enjoying being a family together... does any of that other trivial stuff really matter? Is it really that important?... Nah!

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Go the f*** to sleep!

While being the title of a charming children's book written for adults (A book that my wife and I enjoy reading to each other occasionally before bed), to "Go the f***  to sleep" is what I would like to do. But alas... It is 3am in the morning and I am startled awake with a small foot digging into my rib cage and another small foot in my ear. I peer over to my wife only to find my daughter instead (Not knowing that hours before she had bailed on me and found a comfy hiding place in my daughters recently vacated bed... Well played my sweet... Well played!). In my wife's defense, my kids love their mommy and she usually gets the worst of this nighttime shuffle, having one of our 2 children plastered to her for the majority of the night (Not to mention that annoying husband of hers!).

This has been a normal pattern with our kids, taking turns each night invading our sleep. Although on some rare occasions we do get to enjoy our bed to ourselves... The other rare occasion finds both our kids on a nightmarish siege of our slumber like last night! I would like to understand my kids coma-gymnastics... For some reason they spin around and a round like a pin wheel with the ending result usually being a contorted human "H", leaving my wife and I with about 8 inches on either side of the bed and one limb or another hanging free off the side of the bed. So far all I can think of is that it is a way to snuggle with us both... Even if it's only a finger or forehead and a toe or maybe they are just trying to relive their infancy... Not realizing they have become foot long monkeys. Ugh! While I can do without having my allotted 5-7 hours of sleep each night interrupted, or hanging off the bed, and even having a little toe in an ear... I realize these moments will go away and a restless noise filled night will be replaced with silence and a lonesome sleep, and I will find myself missing those little feet.



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May 20: The Basics

Some days (No matter how hard you try!) are just another notch on the wall. Work, come home, eat, try to clean up a little and wrestle the kids to bed. And maybe if you're lucky... a little down time before "you" get to bed and go through that basic routine again. Nothing's wrong with having routines, they keep you grounded and sane... Hell, they keep everyone else around you sane also. I like a smidgen of crazy... but the goal is to have balance. Never quite seem to get there, but it is the goal. Can't really complain about that... really... And don't forget,"Just a smidgen of crazy!"... Okay? Good!

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May 19: End of the week blues

While it is certainly not the happiest moment for me knowing that I will be returning to the grind of "the work week" tomorrow, here are a few things I found rather satisfying... Now I did get the jump on most everyone with my weekend being Friday/ Saturday (And not Saturday/ Sunday) but it was rather nice watching everyone start getting to work on their landscaping, having put the finishing touches on our yard this morning and enjoying a nice cold beer under the shade of my willow tree with the family to escape the hot sun. Talk about "watching things grow", that willow tree was just 1 inch around and 8 feet tall 5 years ago when we planted it and now it is almost 2 feet in diameter... the home of several birds... casts a 25-30 foot shadow and makes for a nice summer day get-away for the family (Maybe in another year I can put  picnic table under there or a hammock, that would be awesome!).

Another nice thing is the little cooler that we all got from our work on Wednesday. A just-because gift to the employees that I found conveniently holds 6 bottles of beer and plenty of ice to keep them cold. I think they just know how we feel on Saturday thinking about going back to work Sunday morning (Could be why we got company logo beer mugs for Christmas also, I'm just saying! ;-). Everyone of us got plenty of vitamin D and exercise this weekend... we all ate well... had just enough down time to keep us sane and things stayed pretty cool at night for some good sleeping (Except for one little fire alarm mishap!). Well Sunday is closing in on me faster then I would like, but so is all the fun that summer has to offer and that... I am looking forward to!

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*Chirp*... *Beep*

Nothing's better than the chirp of a fire alarm with a low battery at 2am in the morning. Or the fact that it sets the dog into a frenzy, bolting through the house barking at nothing. If that isn't bad enough, there is a strange ambiance outside and through the house... toying with my paranoia and so I become the panic stricken dog peering out the windows and running through the house wondering what is going on. Which one of those buggers is it? I pick out a lonely fire alarm (Which I have at this point now been calling something else with the initials "F" and "A") in hopes that it will get me through until the morning so I can finish my sleep. I lay back down and close my eyes...

*Chirp*... *Beep*

3:30am... wrong one I guess. I lay in bed for a few minutes (Already well aware that I don't have anymore 9 volt batteries) and begrudgingly volunteer myself to go to the 24 hour market to buy some more 9 volts and replace them all, which I was planning on doing at a more decent time later (Like let's say 1pm or at least even 8am when most stores are open). So where is the positive in this? Well, all the fire alarms have fresh batteries... It's a crazy night/ morning on the weekend and not a work night... the house can now rest in peace... sweet rolls were on sale 3 for $5... and I will be a hero when everyone else rolls out of bed smelling their tasty sweetness :-)...

*Chirp*... *Beep*

... Ah, crap!

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May 18: Watching them grow

Today we got to work! The sun was out, it was warm, it felt good and it's the weekend. Time to get started in the yard. Turning the soil, cutting the grass, planting seeds and watering... building a garden just for strawberries and knowing that my kids will love me for it. Getting ready to watch things grow and wondering if it will be as beautiful when it's done as I see it in my head. All the while enjoying the laughter of the kids playing, who are so glad that it's not cold and they don't have ten layers of clothes on... so glad that all the other children have come out to play (And not having to be the only two kids whose parents forced them out of the house in the bitter cold of winter). Yard work feels good... when it's done! Watching everything grow. It's so nice to sit back and enjoy all the hard work. Looking at your great triumph over nature and waiting for them to bloom... waiting to see what they will look like... wondering if you did a good job... wondering if one day they will be digging up flower beds, landscaping and debating with their spouse time and time again about where all the new plants should go... while there kids are laughing and playing and running through the grass on a most beautiful day ;-)

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May 17: L O V E letters

Happiness is... being able to still give and receive love letters after 8 years of being together, almost six years of marriage, 2 kids and all the problems of a lost economy. And not just on those few days that society says we should (You know who I'm talking about you Valentine, Sweeties, Christmas, New Years, Birthday people!). My wife sent me a love note yesterday and she also left me one today :-) But it wasn't anything written or on paper... it was a little silly looking Gnome casually chilling out on the shower rack waiting for me to notice it.

It doesn't talk, it can't play music, it doesn't move, there are no messages written on it... it's just a silly Gnome and the story behind it. This said Gnome was given as a wedding present to my wife and I from a friend. We took the Gnome with us on our honeymoon camping trip (At Indian Springs State Park in the U.P.) to take a silly picture of our Gnome to show the friend when we got back from our trip. It started as one picture on the dashboard crossing the Mackinaw bridge and then turned into a rather memorable, fun, "one of the highlights" of our trip kind of game. That silly Gnome is hidden somewhere in every single picture we took during our honeymoon. It came everywhere we went... in the car, in the tent, on our hikes and even at the stores and restaurants. It was a great challenge to sometimes discreetly and sometimes indiscreetly place this thing in every picture! Like this:

For a long time after our honeymoon we would hide the Gnome on each other. Placing it in a work or lunch bag, on a shelf or desk, or chilling out on a shower rack. It was our little game... a silent love letter that we would give to each other to remind us of our marriage, that wonderful trip, having fun together and our love for each other. Kids keep you hopping, toys and trinkets liter your living spaces, and sometimes a poor silly Gnome goes M.I.A. But today, there he was chilling on the shower rack... and in a way he did speak to me... and he did have something written on him... and for a few minutes he took me on that trip again and made me remember a lot of wonderful things. Especially how much I still love and appreciate my wife! Thanks Wunderbar!

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May 16: Comfort Food!

Today is sunny but cool! I took a nice relaxing shower, put on some comfy socks, my fleece pants and a t-shirt. I'm going to make the kids what they "really want" for dinner tonight... popcorn! And I'm making comfort food, pizza rolls that is (Even though we had pizza yesterday... I don't care! It was pizza but not pizza rolls ;-). Then we'll all sit down to some TV, flip something on that we can agree upon in Netflix and veg out with our popcorn and pizza rolls... and we'll love it! Happiness!

Oh yeah, almost forgot... rum and Coke, yes please! I will have one of those.

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An intro

Just like so many other people I know, I am guilty. Some days it becomes more and more difficult to find the good in everyday life. I find myself forgetting the fun moments and focusing on other things in my life that are causing me grief and stress. Don't get me wrong, my life is good... I just find myself misdirecting my attention to where it shouldn't be. So I decided that I have grown tired of over looking these moments in time. There are too many good things in my life and I want to remember them. So here it is, my happiness calendar! A way for me to document these moments, share them, re-enjoy them and stop losing them from my memory due to stress and worry. And even if it isn't something happy, and it's just something I'm thinking about or that I need to get out of my head... I'm going to do my best to find the positive side of those thoughts. I have never really been good about blogging, so I don't know how far I will go with this... this might even be the last thing I write! But I'm going to at least try it for a week or two ;-)
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