Fear does not knock

Fear does not knock. It enters as if it were a beloved friend... Someone you would call family even if they were not of your own blood, but it is unwelcome. Fear doesn't ask, it takes everything and only gives back pain. It used to help keep me alive, a caring guide for a child with little knowledge of the world around them. But now it steals independence from a growing soul that is older and wiser. A soul that can see the world more vividly... That can decide what experiences it should be taking in. But fear does not let go ... It continues to see me as a child. It's constant worry double checking my choices... Making me see a world that does not exist. So many different versions of what reality is until what I know and what truth is becomes obscured. Fear completes the circle, connecting dots from half truths and blurred images to create a completeness of only lies. Fear is not a mind reader. Fear is not a camera lens. Fear is a doubter, a liar, a story maker. A friend telling you what is good for you but without knowing the truth. I don't know how to greet you as an old care giver and guide, and not as an unwelcome guest. Kicking down my door and upsetting my world.

I am beyond simple truths. Fire burns, hurts and destroys... But gives warmth, light in the darkness and rebirth. Not touching the earth with ones own feet can be a precursor to falling down and crashing... Breaking the body to unrepairable lengths... But it can also be uplifting and exhilarating. Flying like a bird, swimming like a fish, gliding on the waves or sliding down a hill. Loving with your whole self stings. Trusting completely is a sacrifice of everything... But love can also be the sweetest fruit that has ever filled your body and trust is the new care giver... The one that sees you as an adult.. The one that tells fear to let go... The one that knows you have been hurt and will be hurt again, and that life is a river that's flow is not always quiet and calm. It knows that embracing the river means death, but also life. It means falling down, but standing strong. It means learning new things, both good and bad, but learning all the same. It is mystifying and dizzying, turning you around and around, but always giving you a different view. A better chance at understanding the world around you.

I want to hold the hand of trust and embrace fear as an old friend... Say thank you and goodbye. Cherish the lessons, but move on to bigger thinking. Open a new book with millions of pages and see it as a journey that does not need to end, instead of an impossible task. Fear does not knock... For fear is fear and will always be afraid of the things it does not know. It will always make assumptions and complete the circle without looking or taking a journey in faith... Without asking questions or for directions. Fear is a medicine that you do not need, that does not help you grow... That only holds you down. Please leave old friend... And come only with permission.